My Secret to Levelling Up At Life
Seven steps to becoming unfuckwithable.
Levelling up at life means different things for different people.
Society's idea of levelling up is having money or a good job or fame; these are all external things to do with your status in the outside world.
For me and this publication, levelling up is about living to the full expression of your own genes and values to become your best human self.
As to feel like you have grown and get esteem from that growth, and to feel you are a positive prosocial member of society that is a net positive to your family, your community or, if you're really lucky, to the world.
To feel good about life because you are happy in yourself and you are helpful in some capacity, not because you have out competed your fellow man or taken more than your share.
One thing that has allowed me to think in this way is that I had a growth mindset; I knew I could become a better version of myself and grow, but I still had all the baggage society throws on us, so I also wanted all the things which are indicators of success in the modern world, and still wish for some but for very different reasons.
This need to become more on the inside while wanting more on the outside, fame, success, and lots of friends were at odds with each other. I loved doing projects, but I was always pulled between what I wanted to do in my heart and what would make me the most money.
I was dual-minded in many ways, having my own direction but wanting to ingratiate myself to the tribe and live by those standards.
It was made worse by my trauma and how I externalised a lot of my problems, always blaming the world and people around me for my own circumstances and failings.
And while this wasn't all a fallacy, as the world can be a harsh and cruel place, sometimes very unfair and unjust. This was also part of my individuation and being able to seperate myself from the tribe.
It wasn't until I started looking inward for answers to my own problems and shouldering my own issues, asking what can I do better, what part do I play in the mess that was my life, that I actually started to improve and started becoming a better version of myself.
Unfortunately, I needed to hit rock bottom first before I was willing to shoulder the burden of my own folly. Once I owned that, I was able to fix a lot of my issues instead of waiting for someone to save me - no one is coming, this is your life to learn and grow - but you can't do any of that unless you own your mistakes or at least your part in it.
Once I did that I was able to look at my beliefs and values and see the problems with them without trying to justify and create stories that put me, always in the right.
While that was a huge progression, I had a long way to go. And what I did which really made the difference was whenever I was low, or struggling, or in a rut, I would try and figure out what was wrong with me and what I had to change in my life.
I'd use that time to learn about myself, the mind, and people in general, and after years of doing this, I went from someone who was highly unstable to someone who was quite resilient and very unfuckwithable.
So now, I am strong in myself, whatever life throws at me. I need far less positive feedback from others because my self-esteem is solid. When negative feedback comes along, I can ask myself whether it is valid without others' opinions getting me down.
That internal strength through principled living provides me with a lot of happiness.
So even if someone on the outside of me pegs me as a loser, or unsucsessful in worldly terms, it means little compared to the satisfaction of being strong in myself and being there and doing my bit for those around me.
Sometimes, I get down; some primal wound is opened up. That's when I go back to growing when I'm low and figuring the puzzle that is myself out.